FUCK. He is SO hot.  He’s not your typical hipster who acts like they ride bikes, HE DOES IT FOR A LIVING! AND HE’S GOOD AT IT! AND HE SURVIVED CANCER!  I don’t even CARE that he has missing testicles, seriously.

I adore Seth Rogen.  I even think he is cute.  The way he talks is cute, and the way he screws everything up is endearing.  If he walked by me I would probably say, “Ew semi-fat scruffy dude,” but I would secretly be super into it.  Super into him. P.S. Should I have posted a picture of him next to James Franco or Jason Segel to make him look hotter by association?

OMG! I loved him in Freaks & Geeks! He’s 6’4″ and a big monster.  Rumor for a minute was that the chick from F&G’s dumped him because he gained too much weight (which can be seen by his man boobs in I Love You, Man) but WHO CARES, he is HOT.   Can you imagine being big-spooned by him? Glorious.

While seeing I Love You, Man opening night, I couldn’t help but think of the scene in Clueless where Cher is shopping and she stands in front of a fountain and says “OH MY GOD, I LOVE JOSH,” and then it pans to shots of him watching CNN eating popcorn while wearing a flannel, basically being a perfect man.  I love Paul Rudd.  He is just SO cute, and he was in a frat!!! So cute, so Jewish.

I don’t care if anyone has anything negative to say about Dane Cook. Looks might not get you far in life (lie) but looks AND humor, that’s a good indicator that you will get far in life.  All the movies Dane Cook has been in are annoying, and there is nothing I hate more in this life than people quoting his standup comedy.  But he’s cute, so who cares!

Do  I love the old Marc or do I love the new- strict-diet-regiment Marc more?  Who knows, and who cares.  I don’t even care that he has a  Spongebob tattoo, and I HATE Spongebob.  He makes women look and feel great, and men look better, without even being there himself.  He dates dudes my age, is a complete mess and I’m completely fine with that.  Do I care that he got a nose job? No. Do I care that he dressed up like cameltoe for Halloween a few years back? No. Do I care that he loves and raves about Myspace? NO. Marc could commit awful and vile crimes and I would still retreat to my closet and be happy and content.  A man who satisfies even when he’s not present? Perfect.

Look, I thought Twilight the movie was pure garbage.  The only thing I could tolerate was Robert Patterson.  I hated the part where he jumped around with that loser girl on his back like a goddamn monkey, and I ESPECIALLY hated him when he had glittery skin.  Fictional Men like Edward Cullen is the reason why women are crazy, dillusional, and crazy.  The entire movie had TWO good scenes: 1. When RP rolls up to high school (yah right) wearing Wayfarers 2. That semi-sensual/awkward moment where he kisses the loser girl.  Look, I don’t care or what to be part of the Robert Patterson phenomenon, I just think hes hot.  He’s so hot, even if he can’t act and comes off like an asshole. Did I also mention I hate his big fluffy hair? I really do.  I like his uneven whack job wayyy more. OH! and one more thing: I always think his last name is Patterson, might as well be.

Saw him in The Last House On The Left.  Wish he would sneak into my house and punch me in the face.